No more my own Boss

Feel helpless

Feel totally out of control

It feels that I am not my boss any more.

If this is the beginning , then wonder where it will go...

Have start eating my own actions and words

They are smart,

they are clever,

they also have sense of humour

they can make me laugh

they can make me cry

they can make me do all that I despise

they are my weakness

they are my strength

they are my babies

and I love them, marvel at them with out any end

Lil ones learn lesson no. 1

Lesson no. 1 is :
Do Not tear the book.
And if u do then u will stand in the corner.
The Corner is 'BAD'..that's what we told our lil Einstein's
What happend after that is a story in itself.
Now when ever they accidently tear a newspaper/book. They look at us,and quietly go and stand in the corner. If Bhav goes then Gats follows her , they both adjust and fit themselves in that so called bad corner. They keep on sitting there ,looking at us.
We call them , they dont come, I get up and lovingly take them out and we start our book reading session all over again....and then Gats looks at me, and tears one more page.....with a smile.
Lesson Learnt- Child is the father of Man

Its a lizzzzard

Mom look...Lizard!!!
I want plain rice with Ghee and salt
I want more salt
I want Ice cream and not sweets
I want Roti and not Rice
.......
This is what I hear from my 1.7 month old babies.
I can not believe my ears that they can communicate, understand and demand so much.
It delights me to see them choose their dress, their tooth brush, their toys.
Both of them want different things (thankfully).
Bhavs likes girlie colors and dolls.
Gats likes Balls and is not bothered about clothes
Gats has a choice in what food she wants to eat
Bhavs does not compromise on her sleep area.
Both of them want to sleep on Mummy's tummy (challenging).

Some times it is very tiring to do things after involving every one and taking concent of every one. One just cant do what one wants to do.Though no one stops or any thing like that, but the acceptability of new ideas, new purchases new equipment, new concepts about raising children....every thing that was not there in the older generation gets questioned, gets screened, gets a stare.
If we live in a community we have to understand the dynamics.We have to balance.We have to restrain from free speech.
Times such as these are testing times.
Talk or write or do some thing and let your self cool down during these moments. Then you think sensibly again.

Brother in Law

When God was creating relations, he created a unique species called BIL. BIL is a special person who is fun to be with.He puts a smile on my face. My Bill is in town and things are looking very happy for me.

Weaning

After 1.5 years this day has come when my Lil ones din't ask for my feed during night. They woke up 2 times each but at least I am relieved of the suckling feeling which was getting pain full with every passing day. Both have developed teeth which was causing injury to me.

I must admit it is a painful feeling for me to wean them. I like to nurse may Lil angles, feel the closeness ; they also enjoy the security and comfort. Though I would love to continue feeding them but it is causing more pain than pleasure.

More than the physical and emotional part, I decided to wean them as I want to sleep properly in the night and want them to sleep without getting up many times. I want them to become independent. In case I have to go out of station (work or emergency) they should at least sleep the whole night.

To celebrate this new achievement, I and Ro went to watch a Movie yesterday night. We were concerned and always checking the watch, fearing that what if the babies get up... they will cry. So we dint have any post movie snack/ drive, just headed back home silently, hoping every thing is under control. And to our relief we found that both of them were asleep. My MIL and my Aunt were sleeping by their side, patting them in between when they stirred.

I entered the room and felt a warm glow in my heart to see my fairies sleeping.I quickly changed in to night clothes, cuddled them and slept.

They stirred, saw mummy and gave a cozy smile. Ro slept with Gats and I with Bhavs.

Between Bhavs and Gats, Bhavu seems to be effected more by this weaning. The trick I used was told to me by my aunt who has come from a village in Nepal. She made a paste of neem leaves and asked me to put it on the nipples when ever babies demanded milk. MIL, Aunt ,my Maid and Me all four of us started saying that Mummy has been bit by 'KoKa' ( made this one up), and so mummy is applying medicine, and if you ask milk mummy will get hurt.

I thought this is a crazy idea, but actually it started working after the second day.Bhav started crying when ever her favourite Booboo was covered with Dabu ( Medicine), she tasted it and made faces then she got a cloth an tried to wipe it, I would reapply the neem paste, she tried to pick the paste from her hand and throw it. The first day they both swollowed the neem paste along with the milk. I felt very sorry and felt like crying.

Every one told me to be strong & firm.

In the night I myself wiped the paste and nursed them. All my theories faded away that night about wanting to wean babies and making them independent.The urge to feed the babies is still strong in me.

Next night, just before going to bed , we played this 'Dabbu and Koka Game'.
Gattu seemed to understand and though while sleeping she asked for milk, we patted her and reminded her about the bitter 'Dabbu'.

But Bhavs dint want to understand.I gave in once, but soon pulled her and took her out of the room, singing and talking to her. Ultimately she slept.

The next day, to every ones surprise, they both were talking about 'Mama, koka, dabbu' to every one. They told the maid, grand pa, grand ma, our neighbour family and even the friendly watch man (thank god the outsiders don't know our secret words).

The whole day they were very concerned. when I came from work, and tried to repeat the ritual, they dint want to see 'It' and hid it with a cloth. But I could see concern in their eyes. Bhavs couldn't control, she dint know how to feel so her behaviour fluctuated from crying, to being aggressive, running away from me then coming back and hiding her face in my lap. Gats had her own ways of expressing concern.She took the neem paste and threw it on the floor....can any one believe that they are only One Year Five months old kids.

They feel my pain, they don't want me to be hurt they love me. And I love them more than myself.They are concerned about every one at home. When their gran pa got a lil bruise on the toe, they were running here & there and telling all of us about the wound and were asking grand pa to apply dabbu.When the wound healed, they still were checking it once in a while.
Though they are very small. I get amused observing their reactions about things that elders do.They look small but they think and have their own understanding of things.

Stretch- the mom way

Being a Mom is stressful and tiring. Now my kids are 1.5 yrs old. I have no time for my self. I have no peace. I have stretch marks on my body and I have learnt to Stretch my self as a Mom, as a person and also as a professional.
I have no time from morning till night but still I manage to do every thing I want to do. Kids keep me on my toes always, there is no room for lethargy and feeling lazy. Its fun to watch my kids learn new words, actions, expressions. Bhav & Gats can communicate to me in many ways. They show concern, anger, happiness & sadness. We bond very well.
The way they bond with Ro is excellent. He makes them laugh, three of them can giggle and laugh till a long time. They have developed a special bond with DAD.
He puts them to sleep, makes milk for them in the night, dresses them up, takes bath with them on every Sunday.They tell him what book they want him to read. They have a couple of kiddies books like Noddy, Pinokio, cindrella, some Rhyme books etc. He sings lovely songs for them "So ja raaj kumaari", "Dhire se aaja re ..".
The momment they hear that Papa has come back from office, they run to greet him towards the door.
Gats orders her Dad to take her to the Beach and tells him that 'mum mum' will come and wet her feet.Bhavs tells him that she has dome 'su su' and he has to change her 'paaji', which he does lovingly.
He stares them, hugs them and kisses them when they are sleeping like an angel.He calls them his little godess. Once he was going for an Interview, he touched their little feet and asked them to bless him.And you know, he got the job. Now when ever he wants any thing very badly he whispers in their ears and says "Bhavani,Gayarti pls help papa get this...you are my lill baby God no".
He thanks me for giving this bunddle of joy to him. I thank him for the same.
When we look around we see our friend partying, going for vacations, watching all the movies etc. People ask us " how you spend your weekend". My office collegues ask me why do you go home at sharp 5:45 Pm. They are surprised when I say no to all the outings, parties, nightouts etc.
We are in our own lill Oasis. Loving our Kids. Loving our lill goddess's and trying to make life comfertable for them. Finding maids, requesting one and all for cook, baby sitter etc.
Feels like I am in a Oasis.
Feels like I am in an Island
An isolated place with my babies around
Feels like love is in every breath I take,
Feels like love is in every heart beat
I would have never known my Hubby better
if my angels were not in my life.